Tuesday, February 14, 2017
wip: A Lonely Shawl
Back in January, I hosted a pop-up shop for Megan Samms, a textile artist out of Atlin, BC who weaves fabric and dyes yarn from Custom Woolen Mills (a wee mill in Alberta, Canada) using natural dyes. Her stuff is just lovely, and I have all the yarn I need to knit this gorgeous colourwork sweater. (Keep an eye out for more on this project - I'm desperate to start it.)
I balled the yarn up (by hand because this yarn breaks like a mofo if you put too much pressure on it, hense vetoing my ball winder set up), and found the pattern I wanted. But, I've been under a lot of stress lately, between the store, our busy schedules and no time to spend with the boyfriend, financial concerns, and some health issues that are rearing their heads of late. A tiny spat that got blown out of proportion showed that the boyfriend and I were obviously bottling crap up and lead to a talk that evening. I wanted us to work on drifting back together after so much time drifting apart. He didn't want to try.
But I've learned that I have an amazingly supportive group of friends here in the Yukon, and I'm so thankful for that. I'm not good at reaching out for help when I need it, but they've all rallied and are giving me the support I so desperately need right now. I don't have a home, but I'm not without places to stay. I'm overwhelmed with the store, but they're covering shifts for me so I can pack up my stuff. I'm so hurt and lonely, but they're pulling me out of my head and giving me strength.
All of this leads back to my triangle shawl. I started it a week and a half ago because I needed a more complicated project to keep my brain distracted and my hands busy, but nothing too complicated that I couldn't figure it out with the on-average 4 hours sleep/night I'd been getting. And this shawl was the perfect project.
Lonely Tree Shawl, was probably somewhat apt. It's become my coping project - the thing I pick up when I need to not think about stuff anymore. Sad name and what it represents aside, it also doesn't escape my notice that, once finished, I'm going to have this lovely item that will literally hug me when I wear it.
And while the shawl will probably always represent a sad point in my life, I very much appreciate the symbolism here.